work joke

I always suspected this is what management really thought of us ;)



Monthly overall work evaluation

Name: _____________________ Date: _______________

_____________________________________________________
KNOWLEDGE:__ Really knows what he's doing.
__ Knows just enough to be dangerous.
__ Only half a brain and is dangerous.
__ His coffee cup has a higher I.Q.

_____________________________________________________
ACCURACY: __ Does excellent work is not preoccupied.
__ Pretty good accuracy with large numbers.
__ Must take off shoes to count above ten.
__ What's a number?

_____________________________________________________
ATTITUDE: __ Extremely co-operative.
__ Brown noser in good standing.
__ Often annoys co-workers and fights.
__ Doesn't care, never did, never will.

_____________________________________________________
RELIABILITY:__ Works so hard he gets extra days off.
__ Very dependable.
__ Rely on his being first one out the door.
__ Absolutely totally worthless.

_____________________________________________________
APPEARANCE: __ Extremely neat and clean.
__ Looks great on his day off.
__ Flies take him over fresh manure.
__ Dirt, filthy, smelly, and ugly.

_____________________________________________________
PERFORMANCE: __ Works hard if money is involved.
__ Does great work--at evaluation time.
__ Works well after ten cups of coffee.
__ Couldn't do less if he were in a coma.

_____________________________________________________
LEADERSHIP: __ Carries chainsaw and gets good results.
__ Macho attitude. Commands total disgust.
__ One time some listened to him whine.
__ Unable to lead even the most ignorant.
_____________________________________________________

I understand that I have been counseled and understand
my rights under the privacy act of 1974. I further
acknowledge that I am as stupid as a football bat,
and I will make some attempt to correct my deficiencies.

_______________________________________
Employee signature

then vs now

So the other day, this friend of mine from back in the day stopped by for a visit, with his wife and 6 year old son. We had a nice visit, talking about old times and stuff we used to do. Laughed a lot..While we were talking, the boy was in the back of his dad's pickup truck, looking at these bags of hardwood mulch. I have noticed at this time of year, lots of husbands have bags of mulch in the back of their pickup trucks..lol..Anyway, this kid was reading what was written on the bag..instructions for use, where it was made, etc....things I wouldn't have expected a 6-year-old to be able to read. But he nailed it..I was amazed at his level of reading skills..I mean, when I was 6 years old, I was still at the " see Spot run" level..I wonder if society isn't making kids grow up too fast these days..

thanks

I AM THE FLAG . . .



I am the flag of the United States of America.
My name is Old Glory.
I fly atop the world's tallest buildings.
I stand watch in America's halls of justice.
I fly majestically over institutions of learning.
I stand guard with power in the world.
Look up and see me.

I stand for peace, honor, truth and justice.
I stand for freedom.
I am confident.
I am arrogant.
I am proud.
When I am flown with my fellow banners,
my head is a little higher, my colors a little truer.


I bow to no one!
I am recognized all over the world.
I am worshipped I am saluted.
I am loved I am revered.
I am respected and I am feared.


I have fought in every battle of every war
for more than 200 years.
I was flown at Valley Forge, Gettysburg,
Shiloh and Appomattox.

I was there at San Juan Hill,
the trenches of France,
in the Argonne Forest, Anzio, Rome
and the beaches of Normandy, Guam.
Okinawa, Korea and KheSan, Saigon, Vietnam know me,
I was there.



I led my troops,
I was dirty, battle-tested and tired,
but my soldiers cheered me
And I was proud.



America has been attacked by cowardly fanatics
And many lives have been lost
But those who would destroy me cannot win
For I am the symbol of freedom,
Of one nation
Under God
Indivisible
With liberty and justice for all.



I have been burned, torn and trampled
on the streets of countries I have helped set free.
It does not hurt, for I am invincible.


I have been soiled upon, burned, torn
and trampled on the streets of my country.
And when it's by those whom I've served in battle it hurts.
But I shall overcome for I am strong.





I have slipped the bonds of Earth
and stood watch over the uncharted frontiers of space
from my vantage point on the moon.
I have borne silent witness
to all of America's finest hours.
But my finest hours are yet to come.



When I am torn into strips and used as bandages
for my wounded comrades on the battlefield,
When I am flown at half-mast to honor my soldier,
Or when I lie in the trembling arms
of a grieving parent
at the grave of their fallen son or daughter,
I am proud.



MY NAME IS OLD GLORY
LONG MAY I WAVE.

unofficial start of summer

Happy Memorial Day, everyone!
I guess this means its time to get the grill out of the storage shed, and throw on a couple of ribeyes, maybe a hamburger or 3. I LOVE summer:) I can always find a way to cool off when the weather is hot, but for the life of me, I can't stay warm in the wintertime. I should move to Key West or someplace like that, maybe. I do like Jimmy Buffett music too, so thats one more reason to head south..Maybe thats where I'll retire to, some day...

Mom is doing well now that she's home from the hospital since Friday. Dad and I have been getting re-certified at cooking, so far we haven't burned anything. And if we did, we'd just call it Cajun style;)

In memory of our veterans who have paid the ultimate price for our freedoms, and for those who serve today. Thank you for all that you do

no more hospital for now

Mom came home from her hospital stay yesterday. I had hoped she'd have been released on Tuesday or Wednesday, but her doctor wasn't quite satisfied with her oxygen levels, so she stayed an extra couple of days. But I guess it's better to make sure everything is right, than to be sent home with some things unresolved. Anyway, she's grateful to be back in her own home now. They did send out some equipment to help her with continued recovery. She now has a portable oxygen tank, and a nebulizer. Which tend to freak out her little dog, lol...

So, its the Memorial Day holiday. Maybe I can find a good cookout to go to over the weekend. More likely though, I'll just catch up on some sleep. I think the most I got this week was 4 hours, in between trips to the hospital, and back to work.

I am really enjoying this new DirecTV receiver, with the DVR. It's like TIVO, you can record programs without videotape. Ah, the wonders of modern technology:)

On another note, ....well, I don't really have any more notes right now. So, stay tuned....

today's news

I just returned from the hospital with good news. Mom's catheter and IV were removed today. Now all that remains is the dialysis tube, and I expect that will be coming out tomorrow as well. With any luck, she should be back home no later than Tuesday. Kidney function has returned to normal, blood sugar counts are down near 100, pneumonia is whipped. I would like to thank everyone who has offered words of support, and for all the prayers that went up, much appreciated. I know God heard each and every one, so may God bless you all!
Hopefully tomorrow I can get my satellite tv signal restored. Its cruel and unusual punishment to have no tv..but at least I have a good supply of DVDs.

update

Mom seems to be making steady improvement. Her kidney output is doing OK, and the doctors think she has dodged the dialysis bullet for now. Pneumonia is also getting better, and finally her bloodsugar count is down to normal. Dad is doing well too, we have been able to enlist other family members to give him a break during the day, so I haven't had to miss any work. I appreciate very much all the prayers, words of support that have gone up on behalf of my family. I'll keep ya'll posted.

potholes in life's road

Yes, I am a few days behind on posting here, but its been hectic in my world lately. Last Friday night Dad had to take Mom to the ER, where they made her sit and wait for almost 6 hours, then finally did a chest x-ray and a couple of other tests. Then they sent her home, go figure..She didn't feel any better Saturday or Sunday, and then Sunday night her blood sugar count just went ballistic. So back to the ER we go. This time they diagnosed her with pneumonia in one lung, and admitted her to the hospital. The antibiotics and breathing treatments seem to be helping a lot with the pneumonia, and she seems to be feeling much better. However, the high blood sugar counts are still a problem, but it is quite a bit lower than when she was admitted..500 vs 200..but still not in the comfort zone. Then the kidneys quit working, so yesterday they did dialysis, which was quite stressful. They are hoping that it will "jump start" her kidneys into working normally again, but the doctor said it could go either way, really. So thats where we stand as of now, Thursday morning. I have been working this week, and rushing home to grab a quick nap, then off to the hospital to give Dad a break. So, yes I am tired, but whatareyagonnado...I just pray that she doesn't have to go on regular dialysis , and that Dad can keep his strength up...In spite of everything, Mom is in good spirits....better than I'd be if was going through all that..Oh well, time to get a nap , then hit the road again...Y'all have a good day:)

interesting

I read this article on ethicsdaily.com today and thought it was pretty interesting, giving the upcoming presidential race next year. I am not endorsing this guy ( I don't know anything about him , really) but I like what I read here. Time will tell...



Should GOP Pay Debt to Southern Baptists with Huckabee Nomination?

Robert Parham
05-11-07

Is it time for the Republican Party to pay its debt to the Southern Baptist Convention by nominating one of the SBC's own to lead the party's presidential ticket in 2008?
Southern Baptist preachers have done a lot of heavy lifting for the Republican Party. Without them, the GOP likely doesn't win five presidential elections, retake Congress in the 1994 landslide or gain as much political power.

No group has been more loyal to the Republican Party--and gotten less--than Southern Baptists.


Southern Baptist fundamentalists endorsed Ronald Reagan at a religious rally in 1979 and then invited Republican presidents, vice presidents and other notables to speak--live or by teleconference--at almost every one of their annual June meetings ever since.

Baptist preachers demonized Democrats as the anti-God party, while christening the GOP as God's Only Party.

What have Southern Baptists gotten in return? Beyond a few presidential cufflinks and Oval Office photo-ops, not much.

Roe v. Wade is still the law of the land. Gay marriage is gaining ground. Divorce is widely ignored. Homosexuals are embraced openly and defended widely in the Republican Party. The Ten Commandments remain off public walls. Schools began each day without public prayer. Intelligent design is a third-rank idea behind evolution. Out-of-wedlock births are high. Culture is coarse.

Suffering from loose lips, one SBC agency official told a New York Times reporter he wanted a wedding ring from the Republican Party. He wanted the Republicans to consummate their relationship with Southern Baptists. It has not happened.

Southern Baptist preachers have certainly earned the right on the field of political battle to have one of their own lead, and Mike Huckabee looks like the one.

He attended the conservative Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, served as a former president of the Arkansas Baptist State Convention, opposed the teaching of evolution, demonstrated the lifestyle of one man married to one woman for life and supported the SBC's doctrinal statement that wives should submit to their husbands.

He is one of the best politicians among the current batch of Republican candidates, winning last week's presidential debate. He was relaxed, respectful and humorous, looking more like Ronald Reagan than any other candidate.

Unlike the flip-flopping Mitt Romney on abortion and the pro-choice and thrice-divorced Rudy Giuliani, Huckabee didn't need to prove his anti-abortion or pro-marriage credentials. He demonstrated a civility and calmness contrasting to the over-caffeinated John McCain.

Huckabee is a theological fundamentalist who embraces much of the religious right's agenda. As wrong as that is, Huckabee recognizes that being a Southern Baptist alone does not qualify him to be president.

"A person's faith shouldn't qualify or disqualify for public office," the former preacher said in response to a question about Romney's Mormon faith.

Earlier in the year on NBC's "Meet the Press," Huckabee qualified 1998 comments about taking the nation back for Christ.

"I'd probably phrase it a little differently today," he said. "I don't want to make people think that I'm going to replace the Capitol dome with a steeple or change the legislative sessions for prayer meetings."

"What it does mean is that people of faith do need to exercise their sense of responsibility toward education, toward health, toward the environment," the 11-year governor said. "All of those issues, for me, are driven by my sense that this is a wonderful world that God made. We're responsible for taking care of it…. I think that's what faith ought to do in our lives if we're in public service. "

"I make no apology for my faith," he said. "My faith explains me."

"We are a nation of faith," Huckabee continued. "It doesn't necessarily have to be mine. But we are a nation that believes that faith is an important part of describing who we are, and our generosity, and our sense of optimism and hope. That does describe me."

Huckabee said much the same last week at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. "We ought to be open and honest about it," he said, "and I think it [faith] does help explain who we are, what our value systems are, what makes us tick and what our processes are."

Preacher Huckabee knows candor about his faith creates comfort for voters. That basis for trust leads to likeability.

Politician Huckabee knows he will have to build on likeability to earn the right to be the Republican candidate.

Do Republican powerbrokers really trust Southern Baptists enough to let that happen? Do they have a sense of moral obligation to pay off debt long overdue? Does the fundamentalist faith disqualify one for the Republican presidential nomination?

Robert Parham is executive director of the Baptist Center for Ethics.



Also see:

Republican Candidates Show Energy, Diversity on Faith in First TV Debate

Democratic Candidates Mostly Skip Faith in First TV

Too Many Southern Governors Wrong on Religion, Weak on Science in Public Schools





Copyright © 2002-2007 EthicsDaily.com

my sponsored child

I sponsor a child through Compassion International, a Christian children's sponsorship program for children in underdeveloped countries. Her name is Sarai, and she's 14 years of age. We exchange letters about twice a year, and its been a real blessing for me to be able to participate in her life. Here's a picture of her from about a year ago. I have a more recent one, but haven't gotten around to having it scanned yet.

MD

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mamas out there. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for them, so do something special for Mom on her special day. Maybe a gift certificate from her favorite place to shop..thats my standard gift..yeah I'm a good son. Good, just not very creative in the gift department. But it always makes her smile, so thats a pretty good deal:)

spy vs spy

Well thank God, I've almost made it through another week at work. As a friend of mine tells me when I see him on Friday mornings, well you've almost beat 'em out of another one....meaning Ive almost cheated the company out of another payday. Just kidding , of course..but apart from the mundane routine, sometimes I am amazed that I get paid to do what I do..but no, I ain't giving the money back..what do you think I'm stupid? hah

Our theme for this month's Sunday School lessons is conflict---how should we as Christians deal with conflict in a way that honors God. I see conflict situations on my job quite often, even in my own department. For a while it seems everyone gets along great. Then all of a sudden someone will say or do something, maybe not even meaning to, and the other person takes offense, and then the "big chill" sets in. I feel trapped in a way...I always manage to get along well with both parties, but it feels like I'm being pressured to take sides. But that wouldn't be the Christian thing for me to do, I realize. Jesus left us some words to live by as to how to handle conflict situations in a way that honors Him.

Mat 7:1 "Do not judge so that you will not be judged.
Mat 7:2 "For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.
Mat 7:3 "Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
Mat 7:4 "Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye?
Mat 7:5 "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

another night another $150

Well this week is off to a good start it seems. We are fully staffed again, which really lessened the burden we had to carry last week. I still didn't win any safety $ though, oh well, they've probably lost my number anyway. You know, sometimes when it seems like I don't have enough money to catch up all my bills, I wonder what would it be like to have a lot of extra money available. Then I read or see on TV about someone who won a big lottery jackpot, and they had more problems after they won the money, than they ever had before. Some of them even wound up losing it all. So, maybe I'm not so bad off at that. After all, I have lots of family and friends, a decent steady job, and never have to go hungry. So, I really can't ask for more than that. God never promised that life would always be easy, but He did say He'd never leave us or forsake us. I don't know about you, but I'll take that over winning the Powerball any day.

Mat 6:19 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.
Mat 6:20 "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal;
Mat 6:21 for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

fresh vegetables coming soon

I went over to Mom & Dad's place this morning for a visit and to do some chores for them ( sort of a down payment for Mother's Day). I've been helping Dad with the garden, and it's looking really nice. The yellow squash will be ready in a week or so, then tomatoes, peas and butterbeans, peppers, corn, cucumbers. Man, I can hardly wait.

Gal 6:7 Don't be deceived: God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows he will also reap,
Gal 6:8 because the one who sows to his flesh will reap corruption from the flesh, but the one who sows to the Spirit will reap eternal life from the Spirit.
Gal 6:9 So we must not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don't give up.

post #16

Came home from work early this morning, around 3:30 am. I had a few hours of deferred holiday time left in the tank, and I have to use them before May 12 or receive a payout. I figured I'd rather have the time off, than a few extra bucks on my paycheck. Its been a busy week at the DC, we've been understaffed in my department, what with one associate on vacation and another using sick leave. But we all pulled together and did what we had to do to get our workload done. I am reminded of stories from the Bible, when God had a task for someone, and they grumbled and complained "oh this is just too hard..we'll never make it.." But what did God say in response?..Is anything too hard for the Lord? So if you ever get discouraged and think circumstances are grinding you down, just remember, He promised to never leave us or forsake us, even when we're whining.

On a more positive note, my nephew is finishing up his first year at Ole Miss. He has final exams starting Monday. I am so proud, even if it broke my heart that I couldn't sell him on Mississippi State. He's studying pre-med, and hopes to become a pediatrician. Made the President's List this year too, so he's well on his way.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I'm going to take advantage of the good weather and wash my truck. Its in dire need of a bath. Ya'll take it easy now.

I love Fridays

I had a rough night at work last night. We already had one associate scheduled off this week on vacation, so we were dealing with that fairly well.....Then last night I walk through the door, and the 2nd shift Ops Manager tells me that another associate phoned in sick. So, that puts us down 2....leaving 3 of us to do the work of 5. But hey, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. It wasn't really that bad, but the time sure did fly by. So thats a good thing.

I didn't get to see any of the Republican debate last night, but honestly, I'm not terribly impressed with any of the candidates this time. I know its something that calls for a lot of prayer, and finding out where they all stand on important issues such as abortion, illegal immigration, gun control etc. I hope that these aren't all that we have to choose from, when our primary election day comes. In any event, we know that God is still in control, and He knows what is best for us. Our job is just to make sure our lives line up with His will for us.

Its still raining here, so Im sure to get some good sleep today. Ya'll have a good day!

spring fever

I love these days, when I can drive to work in the evenings with the window rolled down, and the radio turned up. The air is filled with the fragrance of honeysuckle, and gardenias, and other flowers. And the song of a whipporwill. I need a week off, so I can go fishing. If I can manage to keep the dogs from splashing around so much that it scares all the fish away. Even so, it'll be a good day. It'll be June before we know it, so laissez le bon ton roulle, as my Cajun friends would say. God is awesome, and I am so blessed!

today

Its May already?.. That means this year is one-third gone. I guess it is true what older folks always told me, the longer you live, the faster the time goes by. At this rate, by the time I reach age 60 , we'll go straight from New Years Day into July 4th, should only take a couple of weeks. Ah well, when I get to heaven, time won't be an issue anymore. How cool is that!

I am thinking I'll soon have to buy a new washing machine. I have a load of blue jeans in the wash to wear to work this week, and it sounds like the muffler is about to come off. Once again, its a time issue. This machine has lasted more than 10 years, and thats more than I can say about a lot of things in life.

I just read my daily email devotional from Heartlight , and it was so good I wanted to post it here and share it with my visitors.

Dumb Questions We Ask after a Tragedy, by Rubel Shelly
Yes, I know it is not politically correct to say that anybody ever does anything that is "dumb" or "stupid." But the reluctance to call some things what everybody knows they are, is simply, well, dumb and stupid. Our televisions, print media, and office conversations have been filled with musings about last week's murderous rampage by a mentally-ill student at Virginia Tech. My personal fear is that the major media have made it far too much of a story. One man's deranged behavior seems already to have pushed other unstable souls to brandish weapons, take hostages, threaten massacres, and otherwise cry for the attention they crave. Replaying his rantings mailed to NBC likely has others busy producing their media kits today! Did you see any ‘warning signs' of this? Among the serious questions that have been and will be asked about last week, here is my list of dumb ones already worked to death: "How do you feel?" This is the classic question asked of everybody in range of a microphone following a tragedy. How do you think any sane person feels about such an event? Horrified. Dismayed. Bewildered. "Did the university and police officials handle the situation correctly?" Who knows how to handle an unprecedented crisis? You react. You follow normal protocols. But "normal protocols" never fit abnormal circumstances. "Do you wish you had done anything differently?" (This one takes the cake!) Of course we do. If anybody had connected the dots on this man's plan, she would have done something -- no, anything -- to preempt and stop it. We humans can always see with hindsight what could not have been anticipated while living through a complex event. "Did you ever think anything like this could happen here?" No. Only paranoid people think like that. Yet the truth is that practically anything can happen anywhere because of human instability and/or malevolence. "Looking back, do you see any ‘warning signs' of this?" In retrospect, we all think we see signs of a gifted person's achievements and the sick or evil one's crimes. But those same statements and events in most peoples' lives signal nothing. We cope. We change. We come to our senses. We don't act on our darkest thoughts and inclinations. Lest I sound altogether negative and cynical, there is another unusual comment we've heard. Even from people who otherwise deride faith, mock religion, and use God's name in profane ways, we have heard, "Our prayers are with all those who have been touched by this tragedy." Maybe if we actually did more praying and less prattling, a few of the terrible and shocking things in this world would begin to change for the better.

Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land. (2 Chronicles 7:14)